Alt Scene, New City: How to Find Your People Fast

New apartment, new commute, new grocery store, and zero idea where the goths are. Alt scene, new city, same boots. Finding the alt scene in a new city is one of the most fun parts of moving, once you know how to look. Every city has one. Some put it in a big club downtown, and some hide it in a basement bar on a Tuesday.

Here's a step-by-step guide to finding your people, fast.

Before you even unpack

Search like a local

Start with a few searches:

"[city] goth night"
"[city] darkwave" or "[city] post-punk"
"[city] industrial night"
"[city] emo night"
"[city] punk shows"
"[city] record store"

Then open Instagram and search the same terms. Most alt club nights, promoters and DJs post their flyers there first. Follow every one you find. In a week, your feed will be a calendar of the local scene.

Check our city guides

If you moved somewhere big, we may already have a guide. Start with goth London, and look around the blog for guides to plenty of other cities in the US and beyond.

Start chatting before you arrive

On Alt Chat, you can use Meet to swipe through alt people nearby or worldwide, so you can say hi to people in your new city before or right after you land. Message a few and ask, "I just moved here, where should I go?" People love showing off their city. You can also ask in a Night Chats room if anyone lives nearby.

Your first month: go everywhere once

The first few weeks are for exploring. Treat it like a sampler platter.

Club nights

Go to every goth, darkwave, industrial or emo night you can find, at least once. Each one has its own vibe. Some are dressed-up and dramatic, some are casual, some are mostly 80s classics and some are all new darkwave. Reading the flyer closely usually tells you which kind you're walking into.

Small venues

Look up the small venues and DIY spaces that book punk, metal, goth and indie bands. Small shows are better for meeting people than arena concerts. Read our tips on making friends at concerts.

Record stores and alt shops

Visit every record store, vintage shop and alt clothing store you can. Look at the flyers by the door. Ask the staff what's good this week. They know everything.

Other alt-friendly spots

Tattoo studios (many host flash days and art events)
Horror film screenings at indie cinemas
Oddities markets and dark craft fairs
Comic shops and game stores
Old cemeteries, many of which offer daytime history tours

Your second and third months: pick your regulars

Now narrow it down. Choose two or three things you liked most and keep going back. This is the most important step.

Why? Friendship comes from repetition. The first time, you're a stranger. The third time, the bartender knows your face. The sixth time, you have someone to dance with and a group to grab food with after.

Become a familiar face

Go to the same monthly night every month.
Stand in roughly the same spot.
Say hi to the DJ and thank them for a song you loved.
Introduce yourself to the regulars.
Wear what you love so people remember you. The person with the giant bat earrings is easy to recognize.

How to actually talk to people

Alt crowds are usually friendly, but you may need to go first. Easy openers:

"I just moved here. Is this night always this fun?"
"Where else should I be going in this city?"
"I love your jacket. Did you make those patches?"
"Who's the DJ? I need to follow them."

Saying you're new is a superpower. People love helping someone discover their city.

Turning acquaintances into friends

After you meet someone you like:

Swap handles before you leave.
Message within a few days. Send a song from the night or a flyer for the next event.
Make a specific plan. "Want to check out the record store on Saturday?" works better than "let's hang out sometime."
Say yes to invites. Even when you're tired. Especially at the start.
Invite people back. Host a horror movie night once you've unpacked.

Our full guide on how to make alt friends goes deeper on this.

Don't forget the online side

While you're building your real-life circle, keep your online friends close. They're a great support when you're lonely in a new place, and they can recommend places to visit.

On Alt Chat, you can post in Realm about your move and ask for recommendations, join Groups, or set an Anthem on your profile so local alt people get a taste of your music before they even message you.

Budget-friendly ways to explore

Moving is expensive, and going out every night adds up. A few ways to explore without emptying your wallet:

Go early. Many club nights are cheaper or free before a certain time.
Look for free events. Record store signings, gallery openings, market days and free outdoor shows.
Volunteer. Venues, festivals and DIY spaces often need help at the door or merch table, and volunteers meet everyone.
Walk the alt neighborhoods. Window shopping, flyer reading and people watching cost nothing.

When the scene is small

Sometimes you move somewhere and the scene is tiny. Maybe one night a month and a couple of shops. That's okay. Small scenes are often the friendliest, because everyone knows each other and newcomers are welcome. You might end up DJing, promoting or helping run the night yourself.

If it's really quiet, our guide for being goth in a small town has ideas for building your own little scene.

Your first-90-days checklist

Follow every local alt promoter, DJ and venue on Instagram
Visit every record store and alt shop at least once
Go to every alt club night once
Catch at least three small local shows
Pick two regular nights and keep going
Message one new person a week
Host one hangout at your place

Moving is a fresh start, and the alt scene is a great way to make a new city feel like home. Find the flyers, show up and say hi. You'll be giving the next newcomer directions in no time.

FAQ

How do I find the goth scene in a new city?

Look up local goth, darkwave and industrial nights on Instagram, check listings at small venues and visit the record shops and alt clothing stores. Ask staff and DJs what's on, and use alt apps to find people nearby who can show you around.

How do I make friends after moving to a new city?

Pick two or three regular events and go to them repeatedly so faces become familiar. Follow up with people you meet, make specific plans and say yes to invites, even when you're tired.

How long does it take to feel at home in a new city?

For most people it takes a few months to build a routine and a year or so to feel truly settled. Going to regular events speeds it up, because you see the same people often.

Is it okay to go to a goth club alone in a new city?

Yes, and lots of people do. Regular club nights are friendly to newcomers, especially if you say hi to the DJ, compliment someone's outfit or ask the regulars for recommendations.